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<title>'cause i see every part of you, and i can tell you see me too by euphrasiepontmercy</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350192">'cause i see every part of you, and i can tell you see me too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphrasiepontmercy/pseuds/euphrasiepontmercy'>euphrasiepontmercy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Oh Crap I'm Falling In Love With My Friend, art is the soul and the soul is art</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:48:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphrasiepontmercy/pseuds/euphrasiepontmercy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>leif shows tori his sketchbook. title from "honest man" by ben platt</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>'cause i see every part of you, and i can tell you see me too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I really don't know what to say here, Tori is a hopeless romantic who's in far too deep, enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When she moved to San Francisco, she had zero idea what she was doing. The plane had been boarded in a flurry of grief with not a single plan in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, she couldn’t be more grateful for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The days had turned into weeks, the weeks had turned into two months without an end in sight, and Victoria couldn’t be happier if she’d been on Broadway itself. It was a relief to be there with her family during the time of grief, and she’d also found even more than she expected: a job playing the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>gorgeous </span>
  </em>
  <span>piano on the face of the planet in a work environment that was a surprisingly perfect fit, the opportunity to grow closer with her cousins and her aunt and to get acquainted with the family’s new addition, friends-wonderful, genuine, exciting friends who she felt exceedingly lucky to meet-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zoey’s neighbor, certifiably the coolest person she’d ever met.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A new intern at SPRQpoint who refused her the ability to regret taking that sign language class in high school, someone to take froyo breaks with in between shifts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not to mention, of course…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The acquaintance she’d pushed to the back of her mind since her first tour of the fourth floor, the attraction she’d attempted to deny in the name of her older cousin’s comfort, and the friendship she couldn’t keep from growing even if she wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, Tori, you’re certainly being dramatic enough.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s just one person.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a fact she often attempted to remind herself of, and a mindset she had a difficult time taking, especially when she found herself in a situation like this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was lunch break on a Friday in July-</span>
  <em>
    <span>which sounds like the title of some play that would rip your heart out. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Fridays were home to the biggest sales at the hipster-ish deli next door, so no one was in the lobby, which gave Victoria an hour off. She’d spent this hour eating alone for the first two weeks of her employment until her second Friday, during which an invitation had been extended and a tradition had begun of weekly lunches with Leif.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would finish her last piece of the morning and make her way to the fourth floor, smiling uncontrollably in the elevator for no reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No reason whatsoever.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway, </span>
  </em>
  <span>this is where she was now, kept company by her trusty chicken caesar salad and strawberry-banana smoothie, repeating that same mantra in her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s just one person.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>One person who was sitting in the swing next to hers, eating a bag of kale chips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One person whose eyes crinkled at the sides when he laughed at something she’d said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One person whose blue light glasses were slightly crooked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One person who made her long to reach out and straighten said blue light glasses, and then hold on just a little longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>SHUTTIN’ IT DOWN. NOPE. NOT TODAY.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As they talked, Leif had been looking up and down between Victoria and a small book, seeming to be writing something. She tried to focus on her salad, but curiosity eventually overcame their small talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s, um…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took off his glasses as he scribbled something out and looked up, startled out of his thoughts by her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leif blinked, as if caught off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, HOW ON EARTH CAN HUMAN EYES BE THAT BLUE?!?! IT’S GOT TO BE ILLEGAL. THERE’S NO FREAKING WAY.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He twirled his pencil-</span>
  <em>
    <span>really good quality, doesn’t look like one I’ve ever seen, seems almost like an artists’ pencil</span>
  </em>
  <span>-in his hand and pondered his answer. When he made eye contact again, his head tilted to the side as he studied her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What could he be thinking?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She was starting to realize that she’d suddenly forgotten how the respiratory system worked when he let out a small laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never shown this to anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, God-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is there something Zoey hasn’t told me? Is he writing plans of how to tear the company down brick by brick? Could he be a murderer?!?!?!?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“My sketchbook.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...Yeah, that makes more sense. Damn my brain’s dramatic tendencies.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I-no one? Not even Tobin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leif looked down and shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He does mean a lot to me, and he’s one of the closest friends I have, but no. This is...this kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>represents…” </span>
  </em>
  <span>His hand twitched as he tried to figure out what he meant to say, but he eventually gave up. “I’ve drawn since I was in middle school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Victoria smiled and scooted her swing forward, eager for any new bit of information about her friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...There’s not much else to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds passed in silence before she couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and he joined in.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s giggling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Leif Donnelly, respected coder at one of the world’s top tech companies, is giggling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Their laughter pewtered out as it echoed through the otherwise empty fourth floor, and Leif considered the book in his hand for a moment before handing it to Victoria, who took it as if it held every secret of the universe. She looked at his anxious expression before opening the cover; his eyes were utterly fixed on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? This seems really important to you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded earnestly. There was something in his smile, something so vulnerable that Victoria’s mouth went dry as she slowly opened the sketchbook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had clearly been well cared for through the years. She paged through the thick sheets of drawings and sketches, eyes widening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Birds took up the majority of the pages, and interspersed were drawings of SPRQpoint and its employees. Victoria smiled softly and amazedly as she flipped through the expertly recreated faces of Tobin, Simon, Zoey, Max, and Joan, the latter taking up quite a few pages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point, she’d become aware that Leif had stood up and was looking over her shoulder, his hands anchoring the strings of her swing. The proximity made her blush, and she was thankful that her face couldn’t be seen by the one causing it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was warm behind her, and as he leaned down to watch her take in the drawings, the idea occurred to Victoria that there wasn’t really a reason for their faces to be so close.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, of course there is. It’s always difficult to show someone your work, especially if it’s this personal. He just wants to know what I think, that’s all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he showing this to me in the first place?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a point in the sketchbook where the drawings seemed to become more ominous, consisting mostly of multiple self-pitying self-portraits. His art style when drawing people was stylistically exaggerated to show the emotion in the subject, which she hadn’t expected from him, but it seemed to make sense the more she thought about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He feels </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>so </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>deeply.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d barely even considered that in her initial attraction to Leif. Although his deeper layers had seemed clear thanks to a few glances and changes in voice over the weeks she’d known him, Victoria credited her observations only to the nature that she thought she had, the nature to over-analyze situations, make judgements without a solid base, and romanticize normal life. This book, however, proved what she’d known instinctively all along-</span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s sensitive.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Leif’s drawings of himself became haunting imitations of sad clowns, and Victoria couldn’t help inquiring after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...work stuff, family stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He resumed his place on the swing next to hers, and she swung herself closer to him so they could each hold a side of the book. As he flipped through pages of fear and disappointment, his eyes became tortured by each memory, and Victoria found it increasingly more difficult not to lean into his shoulder and place an arm around him, if only to say that </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone understands.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>One thing she could say about their friendship to this point is that it had been as open and surprisingly honest as a fairly new relationship could be. They each knew how the expectations of the other’s parents had wrecked their perceptions of their work. They had discussed, at length, the anxiety produced by being placed on a pedestal along with the injustice of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great Comet</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s Tony snub (which sparked the thought of him possibly playing Anatole, which made thinking in itself extremely difficult). They worked to understand each other’s hardships in a way that she’d never experienced, and when she’d related all of this to Zoey, it was made clear that this was apparently completely unexpected of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d gotten the sense, though, that Zoey only knew a few shades of her coworker. It made sense that she hadn’t made much more of an effort to understand him-when you’re given the thoughts of the whole world, your attention is sure to be divided-but her younger cousin’s being drawn to Leif had almost forced her to try to look at him with a new perspective.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was as if time had slowed down. They went through page after page, and Leif was blushing, as anyone would who was baring their soul for the first time. He flipped hastily through a few drawings of broken lockets and glowing microphones before reaching page after page of-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, my God.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A rough sketch of a tall young woman in a familiar floppy hat was the first that she started to recognize. As the pages went on-</span>
  <em>
    <span>as they’d spent more time together-</span>
  </em>
  <span>the figure had become more and more like-</span>
  <em>
    <span>no, it can’t be real, you’re just getting your hopes up-</span>
  </em>
  <span>her exact outfits, her freckles, even the birthmark on her left hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the latest drawing came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right there, half-finished. A girl on a swing, drinking a smoothie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that made her doubt the likeness was that the figure on the page was utterly stunning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A type of beautiful she’d never been, an </span>
  <em>
    <span>ethereal</span>
  </em>
  <span> and yet </span>
  <em>
    <span>fully human</span>
  </em>
  <span> type of beautiful she’d never before been perceived as.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that’s what </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>he</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> is, this-this can’t be how he sees me, I-I-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d forgotten how to think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Victoria…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every molecule of breath was pulled out of her chest. He’d shown her the book with full knowledge of what was inside. He’d said her name softly, worriedly, unsure of how to proceed, as if the word had been drawn from his throat by a force outside of his control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to memorize the sound she’d just heard, grab it and never let go, play it on loop until it was impossible to forget.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost unable to tear her eyes from the drawing, she turned to meet his own. Leif was looking at her </span>
  <em>
    <span>indescribably,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she didn’t have the words, he was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>looking at her-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She would have kissed him. She would have swung herself forward enough to grab a fistful of his stupidly soft cardigan and kiss him far too many times. She would have finally known what it was to hold his face, to feel his arm circling her back, to be assured that there was no way she could possibly be close enough to him, to finally get a good look at the bottomless ocean in his eyes and the scar just below his left eyebrow that never left her mind. She would have kissed his neck and jawline again and again until he knew just how loved he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would have done all of those things if the elevator doors hadn’t opened and a stream of coders hadn’t walked out, signaling the end of lunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...Well.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Leif let out a long-held breath and looked back and forth between Victoria and the new arrivals, eyes slightly glazed in the same way she was sure hers must have been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With shaking hands, she slowly handed him his book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Thank you. For showing me. I...I had no idea you could...do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leif nodded and put his glasses back on before slightly shaking his head and giving her a smile, silently asking whether she was thinking the same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her shoulders finally relaxed and she let out a shaky laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you tonight, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Leif and Zoey were usually the last programmers standing at the end of the day, and because Zoey had a huge influx of new projects to work on, Victoria would wait downstairs for her, working on compositions and enjoying the peace of a night in the SPRQpoint lobby. Incidentally, this also gave her and Leif plenty of time to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked to the elevator, and when she entered it, she dared to look back, noticing that Leif was still smiling after her. He turned back to his sketchbook as the doors closed, and Victoria practically fell backwards against the wall, smiling for a reason.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay that was fun. hope y'all enjoyed. ahhhhhhhhhhhh (also yes this does happen on the day of the song of her namesake)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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